Lose Yourself to Find Yourself

Lose Yourself to Find Yourself

In The Yellow Wallpaper, Charlotte Perkins Gilman describes a woman’s painful progression towards madness. Paradoxically, as the narrator slips away from the outside world and disconnects from society and her family, she gains a better understanding of herself. The narrator disconnects from her physical self and gains an uncomfortable understanding of her mental identity. She finds solace in the truth of herself.

The narrator’s excessively imaginative yet terrifying childhood dreams show her to be an extremely creative woman. The narrator’s creative energy is continually suppressed by her husband, a doctor, who equates independence of spirit with mental instability. The husband tries to cure his wife’s mental illnesses with complete relaxation. He denies his wife the liberty to express her desires, or write or explore the outside around their house.

Denied the exercise of her own volition, the narrator seeks refuge by focusing her imagination on objects such as the house and wallpaper. She is desperate to distract herself from the frustration caused by her total lack of autonomy.

The progression of disassociation with the world begins with the wallpaper in her bedroom/cell and is shown increasing by the writing in her secret diary. Both of these objects help to propel the narrator further into her world of fantasy and madness. The diary is the narrator’s solace in her world of mind-numbing boredom. The moment she starts writing in her diary her thoughts are concealed from all except the reader. From the beginning, Gilman uses a choppy type of prose to convey a woman losing her mind. The sentence style mirrors her increasing illness.

It is interesting that, at first, the narrator fails to see a connection between her and the imaginary woman that she sees as trapped within the wallpaper. The narrator initially finds it objectionable that the woman is trying to escape her imprisonment and believes that the woman intends to “tie her up.” The narrator eventually comes to the realization the she too is trapped within the wallpaper, a metaphor for the walls of her prison. The narrator empathizes with the women who are imprisoned by the narrow domestic expectations in their lives.

The most surprising revelation is at the end of the story when the narrator says, “I’ve got out at last… in spite of you and Jane.” Here the narrator refers to a previously unnamed character. Personally, I think that Jane is the name of the narrator. This is an extreme demonstration that “Jane” has become completely detached from herself. At the same time, the narrator is affirming the results of her introspection. By being focused completely inward, she has finds herself.

In order to untangle her life and break free from her situation, she had to tear herself apart. It was painful and fascinating to see a woman who is so “insanely” cut off from the outer world able to find personal revelation within. Insanity seems to rule out the possibility of coherent thought, yet Jane proves just the opposite. (500)

Truth in a Pig Pen

Anna Silverman
AP-1
738
9-15-08

Truth in a Pig Pen

“Revelation” by Flannery O’Connor is a short story about the nature and value of people. The main character, Mrs. Turpin, begins the story by musing about the individuals who are waiting with her at the doctor’s office. At first, Mrs. Turpin is smug about her own importance. She congratulates herself that she has property, knows how to20use and care for it and is generous besides. I got the feeling that despite what Mrs. Turpin thought about herself, that the narrator did not agree.

Even though Mrs. Turpin feels gratitude for her gifts (from Jesus), she is negative and judgmental. She looks down on a sick boy in dirty clothing. She mentally derides the person running the doctor’s office for not keeping the ash tray emptied. She holds herself above the thin woman who has to dress herself in the cotton that is used to package chicken feed. Mrs. Turpin takes an intense disliking toward a girl in the waiting room who is reading a book on human development. Instead of crediting the girl for trying to improve her mind, Mrs. Turpin pities her for her appearance, mentally referring to her as the “ugly girl.” And Mrs. Turpin keeps staring at her, thinking nasty thoughts. The “ugly girl” reacts negatively and stares back, but Mrs. Turpin does not take any responsibility for having provoked that reaction or the violent one to follow. Mrs. Turpin compares herself favorably to the white trash woman, feels superior to black people, and thinks that God favors her.

When I first read this story, I didn’t understand that this, God’s favor, was the key to understanding the changes Mrs.Turpin undergoes. Before I reread the story, I did not believe that Mrs. Turpin had any recognition of her significant flaws. I read a commentary piece by Karen Bernardo, which helped me with the religious component to understanding Flannery O’Connor.

I didn’t know that Christians believe that grace is a gift from God. The Bernardo piece helped me understand that everyone who “believes in Christ is entitled to his saving grace.” Although a strong criticism, I was surprised by the intense resentment that Mrs. Turpin felt about being called a wart hog from hell. It troubled Mrs. Turpin more than I thought it should have. It was her obsession over this declaration, that leads her to her “revelation.” At first, the crisis seemed to be the verbal and physical fight between the ugly, book-reading girl and the Turpins. But then I realized that the real crisis was that Mrs. Turpin had begun to question her belief that God valued people based on their class. Instead of feeling deserving and virtuous, she started questioning her own value. The story describes her being so wounded that she would not have been surprised to see her house as a “burnt wound.” She was so haunted by the girl’s criticism, that she saw the image of a wart hog when she lay down to rest.

At the beginning of the story, Mrs. Turpin is focused on the relative value of people. She puts herself to sleep at night by recounting her perception of the ranking of different social classes. But she reveals some small doubts, a crack in her armor of virtue. She wonders if being the right class is entirely associated with having property or being attractive? After all, there is a colored dentist with two red Lincolns. She credits herself with helping at church and having a “conversation” with the field help. But are these qualifications worthy of being favored by God? Even when you look down on people for their circumstances? Even when you hurt the old sow and are so careless and self-absorbed that you do not recognize its pain? But Mrs. Turpin is confused and in pain.

Mrs. Turpin goes off to the pigs as if she is going to battle with God. The time of day, dusk, and the quality of light, “mysterious” set the scene for Mrs. Turpins breakthrough. She talks to God. She hears an echo that is confused. Mrs. Turpin looks into the pig parlor and sees “the very heart of mystery.” In a religious vision, Mrs. Turpin takes in the revelation that all people are made by God and the people she reviles are going to heaven ahead of people like her. In the end, Mrs. Turpin sees that she shares their humanity.

Karen Bernardo, “Flannery O’ Connor’s ‘Revelation,’” .

Questions to Consider:
1. Why was the message from God delivered via a teenage girl?
2. Does the narrator’s attitude about Mrs. Turpin change in the story?
3. Why were the flattering comments from the farm workers offensive to Mrs. Turpin?

I missed the discussion during Thursday’s class because of the Occidental College meeting. Here are my observations on the story of Teenage Wasteland.

Initially, the characters in this story appeared unoriginal and simple. The mother, Daisy, is perpetually confused by her apathetic teenage son Donny, who does not appreciate his parents or education. All of this seemed clichéd until Calvin enters the story. Calvin swoops in and commandeers young Donny’s life.Hoping that Calvin will help Donny raise his deplorable grades, Daisy cedes control of Donny’s life to Calvin. Feeling optimistically apprehensive, Daisy hopes that Calvin’s appeal to the teenager would be the key to turning her son into a studious and responsible young man.

Unknown to Daisy, but obvious to the reader, are Calvin’s true intentions. Calvin empathizes, even identifies with teenagers and will act out a second childhood through Donny. Calvin will empower Donny by removing boundaries established by his parents.

Donny is an appropriately-confused teenager. But Calvin confuses Donny's age-appropriate chafing under his parent’s rules with his own feelings of oppression that he had experienced while he was married to his controlling ex-wife. This drives Calvin’s desire to liberate his clients. Under the guise of helping his student, Calvin regresses to the level of irresponsible and impulsive teenagers.

I was unprepared for the ending of Teenage Wasteland. I didn’t recognize the point at which Donny’s life became intolerable. The situation changed from less than ideal and uncomfortable to unbearable. The transition was so subtle that I didn’t think the story supported Donny’s drastic decision to run away from home. This must be an indication of how misunderstood Donny must have felt. Even the reader wasn’t aware of the intense pain he must have felt. So extreme that he chose losing his family forever.

On a completely different note…

In both stories, Everyday Use and Interpreter of Maladies, I was intrigued by the relationship between parents and children. In these stories, I saw parenting styles have unintended and misunderstood consequences.

In Everyday Use, the mother worked to create a better life for her children. Her children responded to her quite differently. One daughter, Maggie, appreciated her mother’s efforts, yet received the least benefit from her mother’s hard work. The other daughter, Dee, was given a good education and opportunity to rise above her circumstances. Instead of appreciating the church and her mother’s assistance, she is embarrassed. She doesn’t appreciate her mother’s love and sacrifice. She resents that her mother is poor and uneducated. The mother acted unselfishly by allowing her daughter opportunities that were beyond her own experience.

In Interpreter of Maladies, both parents were completely uninterested in parenting. Mrs. Das’ children continually begged for her attention and acceptance. This neglect causes the mother only brief periods of guilt followed by elaborate self-justification. The children are left feeling unloved.

The contrast between Mrs. Das and the mother in Interpreter of Maladies reveal the dramatically different approached to parenting and their respective results.